Never let the fear of being replaced, stop you from finding something even better. Sometimes what you perceive as obstacles in your way, are actually just road blocks and signs to guide you in the right direction. In the right place. In the right time.
Sometimes the only way to truly forgive a person is to just forget them. To completely erase them from your mind. To stop reminiscing on what was, to stop lingering on what could be, and to accept that this part of your life is just one that is over and done with.
No more what ifs, maybe’s, or someday’s. Just more whats next, where to, and this time.
I’m still the girl with no time and my time is of the essence ✌
HAHAHAHAHA. I love when random shit like this unexpectedly makes you laugh at a time when you really need it.
Connections are everything. In a generation where your intellectual capabilities are no longer the only thing sufficient enough to get your foot through the narrow crack to your dreams, it’s important to remember that the relationships you build is the foundation of your potential career. Bad relationships reflect, in most cases, a negative career. So before you feel like burning a bridge, think. And when making a first impression, impress the fuck out of em’. Who says sex is the only thing that sells? Charisma and personality are a must in a society full of Darwin’s.
What a weird feeling.
It’s been twenty four hours. Twenty four hours since the last time I saw you. Twenty four hours since the last time we’ve spoken. And twenty four hours since I gave you my last hug and kiss goodbye of the last year and four months of my life. God knows I’m struggling. Saying goodbye is never an easy thing. And saying goodbye to someone you devoted your time and poured your heart in is probably one of the hardest things I’ve done in my twenty one years. It hurts. Really hurts. We are human after all.
But there comes a point where sometimes no matter how much you give and how much you fight to make things work it just doesn’t. There comes a point where you have to take a step back outside of yourself and the relationship you’ve been in, and really look at it. Is this what you really need right now? Will staying in this make us each a better person? And most importantly is love enough at this specific point in time? It took me awhile to come to terms with things. To really look at myself face to face and see the person I’ve become in the past year. In my reflection I saw just how love can change you. The look in my eyes of what was once compassion and understanding was gone. The smile that was once so sincere was erased. And that laugh that was once so genuine was nothing but a mere chuckle. I had lost myself. Lost myself in trying to mold me into the love I thought was what I needed. Lost myself in the pain and distrust my relationship had brought me in. And lost myself in trying to make the love I once had into something it wasn’t anymore. It was a hard look to face. I had never been hit by reality so hard until now.
But even through the loss I found things that were still there all along. One was my faith. My faith in the belief that everything is in Gods time and that it’s all in his plan. Whatever is happening are his intentions and that I just have to be willing to trust him in his plan for me. The other was my strength. It’s hard going from independent to dependent and back again. I now know what it means when people ache about getting back up on your own two feet. You see when you’re with someone it’s so much easier to lean on another. So much easier to let things go. Because you have someone there. To physically hold you when you’re down and to mentally feed you with support and fighting words of encouragement. But when you’re all alone again it’s a big change. You can’t run to that person anymore and you can’t depend on that person to be your rock. You have to be your own pillar of strength once again. However this time I’m learning that it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes, and it’s okay to ask for a shoulder to lean on and not deal with it all on your own. I’ve learned to be open about my pain to the one person that I’ve always believed I had to be tough for, my mother. For the first time in my life I’ve shown her a side of me that isn’t as tough, but someone who has their downfalls as well. And that itself is a different kind of strength I never knew. She’s fully embraced me and I must say it’s quite a change. It only took twenty one years, but our relationship seems to be getting closer in more aspects than just trust, but friendship.
In the end, each day is still a little harder. After all it has been only over twenty four hours. But each day is just a reminder to myself that I can keep going. That I can keep living life and enjoy it. Enjoy it not with someone, but enjoy the company of my own self once again. To love myself once again. To fix myself once again. And to have myself grow into a wiser and more understanding person once again.
Do I believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Yes. But only time will tell and it’s not my intention right now. I have a lot to accomplish on my own. And this battle I’ve been having with myself and us has finally come to an end. In the end I know that at this point in time that the best thing for me to do is to accomplish my own personal goals. To love myself more that I can begin to trust once again and one day love again. Regardless of where our paths take us, I always wish for your happiness and to keep the parts of you that I fell in love with. For that was what made you so great.
So do I believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Absolutely. But the only thing I know, the one thing that I can guarantee and not just have hope in at the moment,
is that absence will make my heart grow stronger.
by Kelly Zen-Yie Tsai
If the timing is right. If the communication
is clear. If the desires are the same. If the
geography can be condensed. If the eating
habits are compatible. If the sleep schedule
can be arranged. If the friends are not trifling.
If the exes are not crazy. If the toilet bowl stays
scrubbed. If the taxes are paid. If the credit isn’t
shot. If the papers are legit. If the addictions are
handled. If the life dreams are pursued. If the phone
can be picked up. If the families are friendly enough.
If the jealousy can be reigned in. If the hygiene
is on point. If the changes can be trusted. If the punches
aren’t thrown. If the insults are neutralized. If the jobs
stay steady. If the passion reinvigorates itself. If the
religious practices don’t desecrate each other. If the lies
recede to truth. If the truth stays off Facebook and
Twitter…and Tumblr. If the Skype doesn’t malfunction.
If the childhood trauma heals. If the teenage trauma heals.
If the young adult trauma heals. If the middle-aged trauma
heals. If the sociopolitical worlds settle. If the grudges
are finally let go…
If we can do it (just this one time) for the love.
I know this doesn’t make sense, but let me shed some light for you. The girls in my life are amazing, and it’s because they’re doing big things with their lives. Independent womyn are always busy and on a schedule. In other words, we’re not hiding guys.. we just always have things to take care of. We work or go to school full-time, sometimes both. We take care of siblings, parents, or other family members. We’re too tired to party, so we sleep in and stay home during our free time. Days are off dedicated to running errands and doing homework. Going out to us is considered: coffee shops, grocery shopping, school events, or the movies. We spend more time in our own heads than with others, but when we decide to go out we wholeheartedly let our company know they’re appreciated. Though, sarcasm and delirium is always present. And since we’re always on-the-go, when we get to wind down and relax, we are able to indulge in the simple and smallest things— naps, family/friend time, dessert. Surely, this entails that we know how to have fun when it’s necessary. It doesn’t take much to please us. We’re just grateful y’all stick around despite our lack of time and energy when we’re with you, and we love you with all my heart, mind, and soul.
Now, i say go for the ladies who have no time because they are the ones who don’t tolerate immature games, petty bullshit, and failure. We don’t have time to pick fights, cry over ridiculous matters, regress, or be insecure with the relationships in our lives. In fact, we try to stay away from negativity and anyone or anything that will hold us back from growing. We are always inspired to be better, do better, and maintain happiness. We associate with feeling: compassionate, determined, and caring than jealous, immature, and disrespectful. We believe being broken is beautiful and struggle exists to make us better in the end. We love with all that we have, and understand that life may not go our way, but we sure as hell aren’t going to give up. A woman who MAKES time for you, is the one who will appreciate you and make every moment worth it when you’re with her. This is because her time is limited, and she knows how to manage it very well. She is accustomed to priorities, deadlines, goals, and dreams; so, let’s just say you were unique and extraordinary enough to make her take time out of her busy schedule to be with you. We commend and welcome you to our busy lives,. But the flip side is, you’ll always be moving upward and onward with nurturing love within reach, because ladies with no time are always transcending and persevering for their aspirations and life goals. Question is, do you have the potential and understanding to want to stay. We just hope you’re ready for the ride.